Missing Scene: Darkness Before The Light
by trycee
Summary: What changes between Mulder being angry with Scully to him acknowledging to others that he is in an unconventional relationship? This is ANGST!-i.e. Mulder's temper! This is between episode En Ami and Chimera, right before All Things.
1. Chapter 1

**Missing Scene:**

**The Darkness Before The Light**

**Part 1**

**by Trycee**

**TimeLine: Season 7, 2 days after episode En Ami, season 7, but before Chimera and All Things.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Files, this is written for fun not profit.**

****There is a change that takes place between Mulder being angry with Scully after she goes off with CGB to him acknowledging to others that he is in an uncoventional relationship in Chimera...to them arguing at the beginning of All Things?  
**

********Characterization****: **_**Mulder DOES have a temper, folks. And he has directed it on occasion to Scully. So this is not going against their characters in any way. I'm actually drawing from scenes within the X-files Canon. Please make note of that while reading. Thanks.**_

Mulder turned his key into his lock and pushed his front door open. His eyes focused on the black pumps that was left in the hallway as if she'd kicked them off as she entered. He moved past them into his living room where he saw her jacket strewn over his black leather couch. The bedroom door was slightly ajar and he quietly peeked into it. He could see Scully, fully clothed in light sweater and jeans sprawled out on his bed asleep. The sun cast a glow around her head, making her hair reflect the gold strains that peppered her red locks from the strawberry blond curls of her youth. He smiled to himself at first but it quickly faded and he tossed his bag down near his bedroom door making a sharp thud on the floor. Scully's head flew up from the pillow startled. Mulder moved away from the door and sank down on his sofa, waiting for her. He carefully moved her jacket out of his way, as he listened for her sounds. He could hear her scrambling as she rushed to the bedroom door. "Mulder?", she said, softly.

"Come here, Scully," he said, sternly.

Scully closed her eyes a second and took a deep breath and stepped out of his bedroom to face him. She glanced at him, trying to gauge his reactions and she could still see the anger registered on his face. "I'm sorry, Mulder...I must have fallen asleep when I came to feed your fish...", she said, standing near the arm of the sofa.

Mulder glanced at her quickly. He could see a few dried tear streaks down her face. "Scully, you and I both know you come here to sleep when I'm gone...I can smell your shampoo and perfume on my pillows..."

Scully was stunned. Her mouth tried to form words but none were forthcoming as she stared at him blankly for a moment. She was aware that he was still avoiding her eyes. Two days apart hadn't abated his anger towards her. She grabbed for her jacket. "I think I'll go..."

"No, sit down!", he said, pointing to the sofa.

She looked at the front door briefly and then at Mulder's finger that still hung in the air pointing to a space on the sofa. She gripped her jacket tightly. "Look...if you don't want me to..."

"Scully, you're welcomed here...you know that...and if I'm gone and you feel the need to come here...I've always been fine with that...I do the same thing when your gone...That's not the problem.", he said, with a noticeable edge to his voice.

She sat down on the sofa and tried to swallow but her throat was raw from crying. She stared down at her hands and then glanced over to Mulder. They're eyes connected for a second before he turned from her.

"Where were you?", she said, in a whisper.

Mulder turned back to her. "I called you, Scully..."

"When you were already out of town...", she said, nervously smoothing her suit jacket with her hands.

"I went to North Carolina...", he said, with his hands drawn up into a fist. "To visit my mother's grave..."

Scully ventured to look at him and could still see the anger clearly registered in his eyes and in his movements. A tear hung to the corner of her eyelids as she stared at him. "I was worried..."

He gestured toward her presences. "I got that...", he said, curtly.

"You told me you've forgiven me...", she said, as a tear trailed down her face.

"I do forgive you, Scully...But I can't help but be pissed...I'm _very_ angry right now..."

Scully focused on Mulder. "At me?"

He sat back against the couch and placed his hands over his face. Scully stood up but Mulder grabbed her hand and pulled her back down to the couch. He then sat down on the edge of the coffee table, trapping her between his legs. Scully's face had reddened and her beautiful blue eyes were filled with tears as she cried into her hands, trying to shield her face from Mulder.

"Don't cry Scully," he said, pulling her into his embrace.

He smoothed his hand against her lean back as she wet his shirt with tears. He could feel her warm breath against his neck as he listened to her stilling her own cries, trying to gain control. He let go of her and watched as she wiped her face.

"I don't think you understand how I feel...", he said, slowly.

"I know you despise me right now," she said, pulling back from him. "I give in to you too much, Mulder. I see that now...You're the only one allowed to make mistakes," she said, pushing his leg that blocked her out of her way. She stood up and threw on her jacket.

"That's not it...Scully..."

"It is, Mulder...You can go off and do what you want...like your little trip for two days without giving me any warning...I just got back...I just came back in fear of my life that I'd never see you again...I came back...alive...safe...and you won't speak to me...and then you just take off...and I'm terrified...Yeah, you left me a message telling me you had to get away...but that only makes things harder for me to take," she said, as fresh tears crept down her swollen cheeks.

"You don't understand!", Mulder said, standing up. "I can't take seeing you get hurt any more, Scully...I can't take knowing that you're vulnerable...that something might happen to you or _did_..."

"Is that what's bothering you? Or that I went out on my own?", she said, glaring up at him.

Mulder put his hands on his hips and shook his head as he stared up at the ceiling. "It's Both, dammit!", he scoffed.

Scully's eyes cast down to the floor. "There's no evidence that anything happened..."

"You can't ever be sure...", he said, throwing his hands in the air. "And to answer your question...it's both...You can't possibly understand..."

Scully folded her arms in front of her and arched both eyebrows."Oh...like the many times I was left to find you without a clue and I never once reacted this way to you...", she said, defiantly.

"I never went off with a man that stripped me of my clothes and did GOD KNOWS WHAT with me and for what? WHAT?", he said, noticing her shiver each time he grew louder.

"I wasn't raped, Mulder...", she said, as her voice quivered through sobs. "I wasn't...and as far as I know he was a perfect gentleman..."

Mulder shook his head slightly. "CGB and perfect gentleman doesn't fit Scully, now does it!", he said, his hazel eyes blazing into her skin.

"I've got to go," she said, grabbing up her shoes and heading for the door.

Mulder caught Scully off guard and grabbed her arm and swung her around. "How do you expect me to feel? How do you expect me to react?", he spoke, threw gritted teeth.

"Not like this!", she said, as he tightened his grip. "Mulder, please...", she sobbed.

"I can't keep allowing this to happen, Scully...", he said, as his voice waffled. "I can't keep letting them target you...I can't...Its gone on for too long now..I need to put a stop to it."

"You don't have a choice, Mulder...This isn't your world or your universe..."

"Oh, I have a choice!", he spat.

She could find nothing but anger in his eyes as he stared at her. She swallowed her tears and stood in front of him, staring at his hand gripping her, she couldn't meet his eyes, there was too much rage directed at her there.

"Don't do something stupid, Mulder...", she said finally, as more tears trailed her cheekbones, exposing the freckles hidden carefully by foundation.

"Like you did!", he glared, flexing his fist, trying to control the anger that was boiling within him.

She nodded her head and closed her eyes for a second, letting his words and anger sink in. "Mr...Sensitivity...", she huffed, disbelieving. "Do what you want Mulder..."

"Dammit, Scully!", he in a whisper, releasing his hold on her arm. "When will we get this right? When will we just get it out in the open! When will we stop pussy-footing around! _You know damn well why I reacted that way_!", he huffed.

Scully stiffened her shoulders and crossed her arms in front of her. "No, I don't Mulder...and I don't have the time to sit here while you rant and rave in my face."

Scully broke away from him and moved over to his door and then stepped out into the hallway, clutching her shoes in her hands. She paused for a moment but without looking back, she slammed the door closed behind her. Mulder punched at the wall and then flopped down on his couch. He slammed his fist against the coffee table and then covered his mouth, trying to prevent himself from screaming.

**Reviews Are Appreciated: Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Missing Scene:**

**The Darkness Before The Light**

**Part 2  
**

**by Trycee**

**TimeLine: Season 7, 2 days after episode En Ami, season 7, but before Chimera and All Things.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Files, this is written for fun not profit.**

********Characterization****: **_**Mulder DOES have a temper, folks. And he has directed it on occasion to Scully. So this is not going against their characters in any way. I'm actually drawing from scenes within the X-files Canon. Please make note of that while reading. Thanks.**_

Scully had expected Mulder to follow her...call her that night or show up at her apartment but he hadn't and it worried her. They'd had heated arguments before but there was something different in Mulder's actions. He was edgy but it was his eyes that scared her the most. His eyes were dark and grim and she didn't know why. Try as she might to fall asleep, Scully just sat up in her bed, with the light off, running the days events over and over in her mind. It had all started with CGB and her little trip with him.._.If only she hadn't gone with him_, she chastised herself, maybe Mulder wouldn't have reacted the way he did...maybe things wouldn't be going so badly between them all of a sudden. They had been getting closer...they had several 'dates', though she couldn't really call them dates...not yet. They'd kissed but hadn't let it progress beyond some tender hugs and exploratory kisses. They were taking it slow, as if the past several years hadn't been slow enough, but they didn't want to rush into anything.

They'd finally admitted their attraction for one another a few months before and had started spending time at each others apartments, sipping beers and watching old movies or catching a late night thriller at an old run-down dump of a theater. Scully was afraid to tell Mulder that she loved him. He hadn't mentioned love either, only that he was 'Attracted to her' and always had been.. Mulder, on the other hand was the love of her life but he had wounded her so deeply just a few hours before that she could barely breath. She closed her eyes, trying to close her eyelids but they were so swollen that she could still see the streetlight shining through. She knew she loved him desperately but there were times when Mulder was the sweetest most tenderest man in the world and there were times when Mulder's demons, whatever they were, would unleash like a hurricane. She remembered how she'd witness Mulder's temper when she drove him to his mothers house and he had confronted her over the identity of his father. She knew from a few incidences that Mulder would occasionally fly off the handle but it had been a long time since she felt Mulder's anger. It was a feeling that was devastating.

_What could possibly be the reason he was so angry with her?,_ she wondered. From the moment she had left CGB back at that cottage and drove back at record speed to Mulder's apartment, he had been closed off to her. The Gunmen kept quite. She knew they didn't want to interfere between them and so they said nothing even when she would try to direct a question to Mulder and he would turn away. He wouldn't look at her or say anything and it had cut her heart so deeply that she wasn't sure he could hurt her any worst, but she was wrong, this morning had proved that to her. She knew now that Mulder was capable at times of inflicting a mighty blow.

Mulder sat alone in the dark in his apartment, he hadn't moved in hours and his joints had begun to stiffen. He glanced at the clock, he'd stayed awake the entire night again. The headaches were coming in waves making him dizzy. He stood up and walked into his kitchen, snapping the kitchen switch on. The light blinded him momentarily, but he recovered and grabbed a glass out of his cupboards. He filled it with water and then returned to his couch. He retrieved his overnight bag near the bedroom door and unzipped it. A few pill bottles fell out. He looked them over and then carefully peeled off the label, tossing it into his trash can. He picked up a few sheets of paper that had been stuffed inside his bag as well...He read and re-read the words..."Incurable..." He knew like the label he would have to destroy that immediately. Scully could never know that he was dying. That would change everything between them and he liked the direction they were finally going, or at least he had until just a few days before when Scully had taken off with CGB.

He popped open the pill bottle and flipped a series of pills into his mouth, swallowing them down with water. He balled up the paper and tossed it into his trash can like a basketball net. "Game!", he said, to himself.

_'If only he could take those days back,'_ he reasoned. If only Scully hadn't reminded him of how he yet again wasn't able to protect her and how now in just a few months, he would never be able to protect her again..._CGB had won_, he thought to himself. He'd finally 'gotten him'. He'd finally succeeded in eliminating him. _This man...this inhuman monster had finally succeeded in separating them..._He would be dying leaving Scully alone...He hadn't told her about the headaches...He didn't want her to worry...His little two day trip visiting his mother's grave was actually pre-planned a few weeks before Scully's disappearance with the Cancerman. He needed to see a doctor far away from where she'd find out, just in case as he suspected, the news was grim and it was. He'd scheduled the appointment near his mother's grave to give him an alibi, something she wouldn't check, so he could get find out if he were living or dying after CGB's hack job on his brain. But just as the appointment neared, Scully had run off with CGB. His heart had been shattered, especially when she hadn't wanted to speak to him. She tried explaining that CGB wouldn't let her...but the fact that she was in the hands of the enemy, the man that had given her cancer, tried to kill her but killed Melissa instead, and injected her with the alien virus through that bee, had frightened him more than anything else ever had. Not only had she _willingly_ gone with CGB, but he had possibly taken advantage of her and that was too much for Mulder to take. All he could see was the Cancerman's hands roaming over Scully's delicate body while she was passed out and it made him physically ill. What was the reason for CGB's little charade? To get up close to Scully? Or to let him know that he could always interfere in their lives? Wasn't slowly killing him good enough for him? Scully couldn't recall if CGB had touched her and that made him cringe. _This man...this evil worthless piece of shit didn't care about boundaries...This was the man that had created him, his biological father...whether he wanted to admit it or not had whisked off the one person in the world he could not live without and had used her for his own amusement...whether he touched her or not, the damage had been done_, he reasoned. It was all too much...

He had just lost his mom and truthfully, he did have her estate as well as his father's to settle, such would be the story he would be telling Scully as his reason for his subsequent visits to North Carolina in the coming months. It was a half truth... He also had his mother's family's estate ...part of her family had come from Ohio and the rest came from North Carolina. She had been the sole heir of her Dutch parent's fortune and now he was the sole heir of several estates, hers as well as Bill Mulder's. Though he did in fact have all of these various estates to settle, he couldn't tell Scully his _real_ reasons for driving down to North Carolina like he had just two days before. Mulder knew he would have to continue his visits for quite awhile to assess the progression of his disease. He had to hide his pills, his symptoms, all of this from Scully and hide it well.

Mulder sighed heavily as he stared at the black television screen. He was tired but his mind was reeling. He needed to make arrangements for his death and his burial. He needed to make arrangements that his fortune be doled out in increments. It would all go to Scully, _of course._ He needed to make sure she had nothing to worry about in the end, the last thing he wanted was to burden her. But on top of all this worry, he was angry...Angry at his life, angry at the love triangle he was born into between his mother Teena and her affair with CGB and all their secrets...He was angry that the affair continued until Samantha was created. He was angry at his mother for committing suicide and for finding out that Samantha had been taken away for the tests and died, while leaving him to believe she was still alive all these years. He was angry that CGB was their _real_ father and that no one had dared explain that the mystery man of his youth was in fact his father...No wonder there was a striking resemblance between them...He hated all of that! For CGB, he had only purely reserved hate, for him and him only. CGB had killed the only father he knew, Bill Mulder and had killed Scully's sister Melissa. He was angry for all the things that had been done to Scully to get to him, her cancer, her inability to have children,... Emily... But even though Scully had been returned to him unharmed, what he was angry about at that moment was that she had _willingly_ gone with him to find a cure for cancer that he knew didn't exist. The fact that she had put herself in danger is what had made him go off on the deep end.

As strong as he knew Scully to be, he had fears for her safety even more than he had before because now they were finally progressing in their relationship, admitting that there was something between them that was stronger than anything in any world and he was afraid of losing her. If he were to die, he cared very little of that, but he could not even fathom the ideal that Scully might die. Guilt began to over-power Mulder_... How could he go off and die now?, _his mind asked_.__ How could he leave Scully alone? _This was an unfair game... He tried to close his eyes but images of Scully crying against him kept flashing back in his head. _What would she do when he died? How would she carry on? Why did he feel like such a failure for not being able to protect her? _Finally, as dawn broke through his window, he got up to shower and head into work._  
_

Mulder half expected Scully not to show up at the office but she arrived right on time, and without a word, she sat behind her desk, opening her lap top. Mulder immediately stood up and locked the door and turned to face her. Scully was surprised as she twisted around in her chair as he stood against the door. "What are you doing?"

"We need to talk..."

She shook her head. "We talked enough yesterday..."

"No, we did not..."

Scully's head flopped down. "I can't take this any more...What did I do that was so wrong, Mulder?", she said, turning her cool blue eyes on him.

He could tell she hadn't slept much that night. He could also tell that he had broken her heart. "I wanted to apologize to you for how I acted yesterday..."

She looked surprised but then closed her mouth, clamping her hands over her elbows.

"Scully...I don't want to lose you...", he said, as he left the door and walked over to her side, kneeling down in front of her so they were eye to eye. "Scully, I need you..."

A tear trickled down her face and she closed her eyes, in disbelief.

"Scully...I know I hurt you...I know I did...and I don't expect you to understand me but I need to explain..."

"I'm listening," she whispered.

Mulder reached out to run his finger against her cheek but she pulled back from him. He sighed and then lifted her small chin so she would look him in the eye. "I was so angry Scully because I couldn't protect you..."

Scully's eyes narrowed and her mouth drew up in a line. "I can handle myself Mulder..."

"You're talking as my partner Scully..."

"I thought that's what I was..."

"I thought you were more than that...", he said, looking directly at her.

"So is this a pride thing, Mulder?"

"You're simplifying my feelings...", he said, startled.

"Forgive me if I'm not in the best of moods," she said, coldly.

Mulder nodded and sighed again. "Look Scully...I'm a man..."

Scully's face tensed up and she was trying hard not to blow her top. "MUL..."

"SCULLY," he said, interrupting. "Society and biology has conditioned me as a male with the need to protect the ones I love...I couldn't protect you...", he said, sincerely.

Scully met his eyes and her head dropped down.

"You have to understand, Scully," he continued. "I was angry...angry that you went off with him...willingly...that he used you...that he put you in danger...that he stripped you out of your clothes and lord only knows what he did or didn't do to you..."

"I'm fine," she said, automatically.

Mulder's mouth tightened into a grimace. "Are you telling me the truth, Scully?"

"Of course I am!", she declared.

"Look," he said, trying to calm her. "Look...That man is a liar," he said, looking directly into her eyes "He's done everything to destroy me and you...I don't understand how you could trust him..."

"I believed him...I saw a man that had a lot of regrets..."

"Why come to you?"

She looked down at her hands. "He told me he thought I could make use of it because of my medical background Mulder...He healed that boy and that technology saved my life as well...He told me this could cure cancer..."

"He's a liar, Scully..."

"I know that, Mulder...but I couldn't walk away when there was a chance that others might benefit from it..."

Mulder rolled his eyes. "What else did he say?"

Scully licked her lips. She was afraid that telling this to Mulder would make him upset again. "He said, he liked me...That he had an affection for me..."

"That son of a bitch...", Mulder hissed.

Scully reached out and touched his arm, calming him. "Mulder, its over...can we move on?"

"I'm trying to explain how I felt..."

She removed her hand and pursed her lips. "Go on..."

"Its my job to protect you and when you go running off with the most dangerous man there is...I felt...I was...terrified...I had no way of getting to you and finding you and all I kept thinking is that if I ever saw you again, I'd _make_ you give up this goddamn job if I had too..."

"You can't make me do anything...", she countered.

Mulder sighed. "Could you cut the strong woman shit for right now..."

Scully glared at him, crossing her arms in front of her.

"Look...this man has come after me in every conceivable way...and now things are different between us and I failed..."

"You didn't fail, Mulder...", she said, shaking her head, sighing exhaustively. "You and this '_woe is m_e', bullshit..."

Mulder stared at her for a moment. "You went without me...You went with him just on his word, Scully...He could've killed you..."

"You told me that already...The other day when you wouldn't hardly say two words to me, let alone even look at me! You already told me that!", she snapped.

"Maybe I should tell you again..."

"You, Fox Mulder...have a double standard...A standard for yourself and another standard for me...because I'm the weaker sex, is that what you think?"

"I don't think you're weak...I never have...but you went with him willingly...Scully...How stupid can you get!"

Scully pushed back from him and began gathering her belongings. Mulder placed a firm hand on her arm, stopping her. "Let me go, Mulder..."

"No...We need to settle this..."

"You just want me to agree with you...", she said, standing up and yanking her arm away.

"I'm pouring out my heart to you...", Mulder said, rising on his feet. "If anything would've happened to you, Scully...I couldn't live...There would be no way I could live without you."

Scully stopped in her tracks and turned around to face him. "Mulder...", she exclaimed. "Don't say that..."

"I'm telling you the truth...and you know it..."

"Mulder...I'm fine...I'm okay...I checked out okay...He didn't hurt me...I didn't die...I'm here another day..."

"What if we're running out of time, Scully? What if..."

Scully grabbed his hand. "Don't talk like that...We have all the time in the world..."

"No we don't...", he said, in a whisper.

"What do you mean by that?", she frowned.

Mulder grabbed Scully and crushed her body against his. He started sobbing into her hair. Scully responded by wrapping her arms around his waist tightly. "Mulder...Mulder..."

"You deserve better than me, Scully," he said as his tears fell onto her scalp.

"No, I don't, " she said, looking up at him. "You're everything I want and need, Mulder..."

He shook his head. "No...I hurt you...I endanger your life...I...I..."

"Stop talking like that," she said, reaching up to wrap her hand around his neck, drawing him down to her. She placed a soft kiss on his lips and wiped away his tears. "I only need you..."

Mulder squeezed Scully tighter, pressing his head into her neck. "Scully...", he cried.

She pushed back a little and then planted another kiss on his forehead. "Mulder...Look at me...I have what I want in my arms right now...I think I know what I want!"

Mulder nodded as he wrapped her again in his arms. "Scully...I don't ever want to hurt you..."

"Sssh...", she said, trying to calm him.

Both Mulder and Scully jumped at the knock on the office door. She glanced up at Mulder but she could see he still had tears in his eyes. She walked over to the door and unlocked it, and then swung the door open.

**Please Leave A Review: Thanks!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Missing Scene:**

**The Darkness Before The Light**

**Part 3  
**

**by Trycee**

**TimeLine: Season 7, 2 days after episode En Ami, season 7, but before Chimera and All Things.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Files, this is written for fun not profit.**

****Characterization****: **_**Mulder DOES have a temper, folks. And he has directed it on occasion to Scully. So this is not going against their characters in any way. I'm actually drawing from scenes within the X-files Canon. Please make note of that while reading. Thanks.**_

Skinner stared at the both of them. Mulder wiped at his tears and Skinner looked down into Scully's face. She was stoic but he continued to stare for a moment. "What's wrong? Why was this door locked?"

"Thought it would be better if not everyone saw me balling like a baby," Mulder joked.

"Sir...Mulder just came back from visiting his mother's grave," Scully said, as she gripped the door handle.

Skinner gave a slight nod as he watched them both carefully. "I need you to go to Quantico, Agent Scully...there's an autopsy I need you to perform, as a favor to me..."

Scully glanced at Mulder and then turned her full attention back to Skinner. "Yes sir...I'll head out in a few minutes..."

"Good...", he said, looking them over. "Mulder...you can go home...If you're this emotional...it's better you're home than here..."

He could see Scully was conflicted as she glanced from Mulder and then back to her boss.

"I will be waiting on your report, Agent Scully...", he declared.

"Yes sir...", she said, looking him directly in the eye.

Skinner turned and walked out the door and Scully walked back over to her desk and grabbed up her jacket. She good feel Mulder's eyes on her.

"Are you okay?", he asked.

She nodded. "You?"

He smiled slightly and then walked over to her side. "We'll be okay, won't we, Scully?"

She nodded again. "Yes...", she said, in a near whisper.

"I hurt you..."

"You did...", she said, closing her eyes.

Mulder placed a hand on her chin again and lifted her head up towards him. She opened her eyes and Mulder kissed her deeply on the lips. "I'm gonna make things better...now that you understand what I was feeling..."

She looked up sharply at him but didn't say a word.

"I'm gonna go home," he said, grabbing up his suit jacket.

He stopped again in front of her and gave her a quick kiss. "Okay?"

"Okay," she said, softly.

He let his hand slip down into hers and looked her in the eye. "Call me..."

"I will..."

She watched as he walked out the door. She stood in the middle of the office, a little numb. She gathered her things and then locked the office door before heading for the stairs to go to Quantico.

Scully sat in her car looking up at her Apartment building. She was tired and she knew she needed to get some rest but the past few days had worn her down. She was trying to not remain hurt or angry with Mulder but she couldn't help but feel that way. Mulder could be self-absorbed occasionally like a man used to getting his way and that's what had always occurred between them...She was the one that nearly always compromised in their working relationship and even now in their budding romantic relationship. She was starting to feel resentful and she didn't want to feel that way, especially with them having finally reached a minor mild-stone, admitting that they cared for each other and even kissing and hugging. She wanted to tell him she loved him but she wasn't sure if it was time, the recent events had proved that to her. As much as she loved Mulder, she wasn't sure if things would work out between them. She wanted it too desperately but she wasn't sure if the transition that was inevitable would bind them together forever or break them apart. All she wanted was Mulder, all she had wanted since the day she met him was Mulder...to feel his arms wrapped around her forever. This was a kink in the road and she didn't know how she should handle it.

Every relationship she had as an adult had created these similar situations. CGB had told her that she was '_drawn to powerful men but that she feared their power'_... She was quite aware that was the truth for many years...Mulder was a powerful man and she had trouble saying no to him, just as she had all these years leading up to this point. It was the same problem she had with all her past relationships. All those had all been one-sided and that's what she feared with Mulder, that he wouldn't recognize her feelings or her voice in the relationship and that she would lose herself in him completely, which was her past history. When she would stand on her own or go against these past men, the relationship would end. The future relationship with Mulder was one that she wanted to be _THE ONE_, the one that lasted forever because she couldn't imagine herself to ever fall in love with another man. They both had so much baggage coming into a new romance but she wanted to believe that once they took the final step none of those things would matter any more, but she wasn't so sure.

She slowly stepped out of her car and then made her way into her apartment building and then up to her door. Before she pulled our her keys to unlock it, she knew he was there. She pushed the door open and saw him asleep on her couch. "Mulder?.", she said, as she set her keys down on the table next to the door.

He sat up quickly. "Scully?", he said, placing his feet on the floor. He wiped at his eyes, trying to focus on her.

"What's wrong Mulder," she said, placing her hand on his forehead and swiping through his hair.

"Nothing," he lied, as he lightly touched his temple. His headache had returned and he was waiting for his newest round of meds to kick in and work. "You're done with the autopsy?"

She flopped down next to him without removing her coat. She slipped off the heels off her aching feet but Mulder suddenly swept her feet up onto his lap, catching her off guard. She fell back a little against the couch cushions but felt him kneading her toes. She grabbed a pillow and placed it in back of her head and then closed her eyes, as Mulder pressed his fingers expertly against her small feet. She didn't speak a word, as he kneaded them but she did let out a few soft moans of pleasure and Mulder smiled. "That feel good?"

"Mmm hmmm...", she smiled.

"How about I order us some dinner?"

"That sounds good...", she sighed, keeping her eyes closed.

"Scully..."

"Hmm?", she said, enjoying the feel of his hands pressing the knots out of her toes.

"Are you having second doubts?"

"About us?", she said, glancing up. She could see the terror in Mulder's face. "I'm still scared...", she confessed.

Mulder positioned himself so his knee slid under her legs and he was facing her. "I'm not scared, Scully...I like the direction we're heading in and when you're ready...I'll be here waiting for you..."

She slipped her legs off his lap and tucked her legs beneath her, her face inches away from his lips. "I know...You're being extremely patient..."

He leaned his forehead against hers. "You're all I have...You're everything to me...", he said, with tears in his eyes.

Scully pressed her lips against his and gave him a lovingly kiss. "You're everything to me as well Mulder...more than you'll ever know..."

Mulder wrapped her in a hug. "You're the most important person in my life...", he sighed. "You are my life...my all..."

Tears began to stream down her own cheeks and they both looked at each other and then began to chuckle spontaneously after all the tears they'd shared recently, it had dawned on them both that they were sitting together, crying in each other's arms, of course.

"Lets order some food...", Mulder said, pulling out his cellphone. He ordered from their usual Chinese restaurant not far away. "Be here in 10 minutes..."

"Okay," she said, wiping at her eyes. "Let's see if there's beer in the fridge."

"Ah...let me," he said, standing up, and heading towards the kitchen. "You worked hard all day, Scully...let me get it."

Scully was surprised. "Thank you Mulder..."

He returned with two beers and handed one to her. "I picked up the beers and a movie before I came over here..."

"You did?", she said, her eyes lit up. "What did you pick?"

"Your favorite movie...The Exorcist..."

She smiled widely and then laid her head back down onto his shoulder. "Hmm...this may work out after all Mulder..."

"Was there ever any doubt?", he asked timidly.

She looked up into his soulful eyes, searching them as she knew he was searching hers. She could see a hidden fear in them and she wasn't sure why. "No, Mulder...there was never any doubt..."

She watched as his eyes changed and a wide crooked smile crossed his lips. He gave her a quick kiss and then leaned back against the couch cushions and hit the play button.

**THE END**

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